What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
