You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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