Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
