plz talk dirty to me
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
