its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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