We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
