Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
