I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
