i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize