i think my tv is drunk
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
