im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize