whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
