Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
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