I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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