North Korea, Best Korea!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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