She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
