I looked at my own cervix.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
