I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Nobody cheats on THIS.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
