so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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