If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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