grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
