Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
only you would photoshop your dick
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
