You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
