I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Randomize
