My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
