His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I seem to have left my pride at pride
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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