theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
