I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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