Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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