i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I'm passing your future prison.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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