P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
He better not be in your backpack
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
