Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
