I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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