I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
