Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
