Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
