Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Randomize
