I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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