It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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