Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
