a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
