I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
