do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
