come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
