My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
