The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
