I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
