this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
vagina is talking i cant
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
