I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
