I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
