What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I would fuck him just for his dog
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
