Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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