marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
