My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
