So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Bring me that man meat
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
