If i come over, it means nothing
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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