last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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