Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just pee around me
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize