Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
