i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize