its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
