I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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