After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
A bitchslap is in order.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
