what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
